There were many stereotypical gay Asian things I saw that bothered me. The group of Asians not interacting with anyone outside of their little group; the I-Only-Date-Asians Asians; the I-Want-To-Eat-An-Asian non-Asians. I was there and I was an Asian there and I fit so perfectly into the stereotype when it came to how I looked. You know, because I'm Asian. And I felt oddly uncomfortable about that. Not ashamed. Just uncomfortable.

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I'm so sorry to hear that you had such a horrible clubbing experience. I wish I could have come along because I've been told that I make clubs that much more fun to attend. I get all crazy and dance like an idiot without even the slightest bit of alcohol in my body. On the other hand, at least you got to speak with Neal. That MUST have made the evening worthwhile.

About being around a buttload of Gaysians (as I've been known to call them), my guess is that your distaste for the situation probably doesn't relate to you and your own attributes. If anything, it probably stems from the fact that the group more or less embraces a number of stereotypes associated with the gay Asian community. You're trying to break away from it all, and yet you find them inescapable because such a large number of folks feel the need to conform. What do you think?

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it probably stems from the fact that the group more or less embraces a number of stereotypes associated with the gay Asian community

bingo

I saw groups of Asians -- usually a group consisting of 4 or 5 boys -- all walking together, all going up to the bar together, all getting the same drink, and all dancing together. Rice, anyone? Like, they wouldn't leave the group. They came together, stayed together, and left together. I did meet my friend at the club but we did our own thing once we were inside and checked in with each other in time to time to make sure we weren't stuck with some icky guy. That's how I work the gay clubs. I wander off on my own and do my own thing even if I'm with friends.

Then, of course, there were the ickies. There was this icky older Asian guy that kept following me around everywhere I went. And I mean, everywhere. He didn't come up and talk with me or anything. Just followed me around and started at me the whole time. And the icky part was, he'd stand right behind me or right next to me at the bar, dance floor, everywhere... and just stare. I felt so uncomfortable. That was one of the reasons why I escaped the club and stood on a street corner and called Neal. My lovely Neal.

Then, there were the non-Asian men that are there to eat up an Asian boytoy. I saw many tall, White, fairly well-built men holding the hand of a skinny, little, Asian boy that looked and sounded as if he were fresh off the boat. I couldn't help but wonder, "What in the world could these two men have in common?" It's like, the only reason why they're holding hands is because they like what they see: the Asian likes the White man, the White man likes the Asian boytoy. Now, I shouldn't really talk. I, myself, easily fall for the muscular White man with a hairy chest, but if the man only wants to have sex with me.. I don't think so, bitch!! Git yo hands off my ass!! If there's no intelligent conversation with the man, I get easily turned off. Looks don't go very far with me. The very first man I dated right after I came out was a hottie. I mean, White, 36, muscular with a hairy chest... but he wasn't very.......... bright. I dumped him. I'm good friends with him, though.

And this is an awfully long response to your comment.

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Sweetie, don't worry about the length of your responses. I always enjoy reading them, and between you and me (and I guess whoever else is reading this), you are by far one of the friendlier, more sociable, and more easy-going LJ friends I have. Kinda crazy considering I've never met you and don't know a whole buttload about you.

Anyway, don't feel like you have to hold anything back with me, okay? I'm not easily revolted or anything of that sort, and I've been really good about remaining non-judgmental, too. If you're ever stuck in a situation and need someone to call, gimme a holla.

Shoot me an e-mail some time, and I'll send back my number. DanceTygerDance@gmail.com.

*HUGS*

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thanks, dude!

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